Oxford Street Adventure
by jokerwho
Summary: Clara takes the Doctor to Oxford Street to go shopping but the Doctor is stopped by a TV host who's determined to ask him some trick questions.


**Oxford Street Adventure**

The Doctor was confused. There were so many people walking past him that he had forgotten why he was in this particular location, at this specific time on Earth in the first place. It just didn't make any sense to him at the moment.

If there was one thing he was sure, he hated being surrounded by people, especially by such a large crowd, their shopping bags bumping his long arms and legs. None of them apologised or even looked up from their smartphones. Too many pudding brains for his liking.

The Doctor pursed his lips before he walked over to a corner and stood by the entrance to Primark. It was then realization struck him. He finally knew why he was in this particular location, at this specific time on Earth instead of visiting that one planet where the inhabitants eat nothing but ice-cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Clara. She had convinced, well, dragged him to Oxford Street against his will. He had tried to persuade her that she could get her dress from this one market place located in the fourth quadrant but she merely reminded him the last time she bought a hat from said place.

"Yes, that's a great idea, Doctor. Let's go ahead and buy my dress at the same shop that sold me the hat that tried to eat me," she grumbled, fixing her hair in the mirror while the Doctor sat on the edge of the bed with his arms crossed.

"How was I supposed to know it was going to eat you? Besides, there are plenty of other shops in-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"Yes, Boss," he growled.

Clara had promised the Doctor that it will only a quick trip. All she needed was a dress for the annual Christmas party at Coal Hill. And that was another thing he wasn't really keen on. Spending time with Clara? Check and yes. Mingling with not-Clara's? Not so much.

And so, here he was now, standing in front of Primark, wondering where Clara was. They probably got separated thanks to the massive crowd roaming Oxford Street. Wonderful. How on earth is he going to find Clara in a sea of not-Clara's?

Oh, that's right. He has a smartphone now. He could try calling her.

The Doctor pulled out the device from the pocket of his coat and phoned her but all he got after several tries was some lady, a not-Clara, saying, "The person you're trying to call is unavailable."

Great. Clara wasn't answering her phone. The Doctor sighed and glanced to his left to see miserable looking men of all ages leaning against the glass window of the massive Primark store, as they wait for their spouse-slash family member-slash friend.

He tried to figure out where Clara would go to. He recalled her saying something about buying a dress but she didn't mention the name of the store or perhaps he didn't really pay much attention to it.

His train of thought, however, was interrupted when a man said, "Excuse me sir, would you be interested in answering a few trick questions?"

The Doctor looked to his right and saw a two men, one with a mic and another with a camera. Oh great. Just what he needed.

"No," he answered grumpily.

"You'll be featured on live TV!" convinced the young man but the Doctor was having none of it. "And you'll stand a chance to win a 50 inch UHD TV!"

"I'm not interested," he replied and glared at the man, summoning his attack eyebrows.

The TV host put his microphone away and said, "Look, I've been trying to get a participant for the last thirty minutes. It would be great if you could answer just a few questions. And by the looks of it, you're not going anywhere while your wife's out shopping, right?"

Just as the Doctor was about to speak to correct the man about him waiting for Clara, his… well, he wasn't sure what she was to him. They are the best of friends but after they had kissed in the caretaker's shed, he wasn't sure how to define their relationship.

The TV host took the Doctor's hesitance as a yes to participating to whatever he was going to be subjected to. "Great! I suppose we can start then!"

"Hello there! I'm Michael Nash live at Oxford Street and I have here with me today a man who's going to answer some trick questions. If he gets them all right, he'll win a brand new Samsung 50 inch UHD smart TV! What's your name, sir?"

The Doctor stared at the camera with wide eyes before reluctantly cooperating. "The Doctor."

"Alright, Doctor, here is your first question – a little girl kicks a ball. It goes 10 feet and comes back to her, how is this possible?"

The Time Lord merely furrowed his brows at not-Clara and looked at him as if he was the stupidest man in the galaxy. "She obviously kicked the ball up."

"That is absolutely right!" Michael exclaimed. "Next question – A is the father of B but B is not the son of A. Why is that?"

The Doctor couldn't understand why he was being given such ridiculous questions. He didn't understand what was so tricky about them. "A is B's daughter."

"Excellent! Here's another one for you – If there are six apples and you take away four, how many would you have?"

"Four."

"Ok, so far you got them all right. Well done," said the TV host who was slowly beginning to panic. If the Doctor keeps answering his questions correctly, he would have to actually inform his producers somebody managed to win the TV and they were hell bent that nobody could get them all right, so they never did buy one and it wasn't like they had the budget anyway.

"Look, how many more of these do I have to answer? They're not very tricky so what's the point of calling them tricky in the first place?"

Michael then nodded and looked at the list of trick questions in his hand. "Right, here's a tough one for you – what goes up and down but still remain in the same place?"

"Stairs," the Doctor answered in an annoyed tone. How much longer does he have to endure interacting with not-Clara?

"Just two… more and if you answer them correctly, you'll win yourself a brand new TV," the TV host said, almost in a gravely manner. "What has a head and a tail but no body?"

"A coin obviously, but I suppose you can also say the same for -"

"Doctor!" a familiar voice called out his name before he could say the name of the alien species with a head and tail but no body. She had decided to quickly do her shopping after realizing she had lost the Doctor, thinking that he would be fine on his own for a short while. What she didn't expect was to see him on national television answering trick questions. Of course he would answer them correctly. He's a Time Lord. She was also surprised to see him ending up on the other side of the shopping district and immediately made a run for Primark.

Here she was now, trying to get to her beloved Doctor.

The Time Lord's face instantly lit up when he saw Clara pushing her way through the crowd, a large paper bag in one hand.

"Oh, that must be your wife. Ok, final question," Michael mumbled as he silently prayed to God that the Doctor would get it wrong. "How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?"

The only thing that the Doctor cared about was running towards Clara and ignoring not-Clara but then he remembered that not-Clara told him that he would win a brand new Samsung 50 inch UHD smart TV if he answered all the questions right. Maybe Clara would be pleased if he had won her a brand new television? He's going for the kill.

"Once," he answered without hesitating and furrowed his brows once more when he saw the devastated look on not-Clara's face.

"Congratulations, you've just won a brand new TV!" said Michael half-cheerfully. He would need to inform his producers someone had actually won. "And that's it for today. I am Michael Nash. Live from Oxford Street."

"So, when will I get the TV?" the Doctor asked, as Clara stood next to him with an amused expression on her face.

At the end of the day, the Doctor and Clara returned to the latter's flat. The TARDIS was parked in the living room while the couple retreated to the bedroom, cuddled together in bed, drinking hot chocolate while watching a TV series on the brand new Samsung 50 inch UHD smart TV the Doctor had won for Clara.

Maybe Oxford Street wasn't so bad after all.


End file.
